through reading and thinking which lead to a resonable explanation for ones own behaviour,
is kind of interesting. It startled me a bit at the beginning, but though little one can change the behaviour which developed probably already from the childhood, still good to know more about it.
Question: Why am I having all the time nightmares?
Answer: it's kind of suffering from an overdose of positive thinking.
因為在現實生活裡以疏離的態度看待自己的總總問題
過度樂觀地讓自己相信 everything is going to be fine
也避免讓自己沉溺在哀傷擔憂的情緒裡面
The result is, sometimes I am not so sure if I am really okay.
And all of these come back to me in the night, in the subconsiousness.
few weeks ago, isa sensed that there were something going wrong with me, she called the next day, she said she was angry, she did not feel I was okay even though I said everything was fine. She said I am difficult, she had to force me to say things out of my mind. I just realized it later
on, this attitude can worry the others who care. And the emotional fear or sadness are still out there, they can come all at once, and eat you up like monsters.
Question: 為甚麼自己常在情緒低落的時候出現甚麼都不想要甚麼都不在乎的情緒?
不論人論事, 或許我太溫情主義, 於是人總是我無法拋棄的一環, 這是我無法逃避的現實, 只是當面對挫折面對失敗對於這般事情我常常告訴自己 it doesn't matter, i don't care one way or another.
Answer: it's so called "Alienation Behaviour"
"alienation behaviour" means when children hear or notice they're going to lose someone they love, they sometimes become less nice, or even irratating to that person. It's an instinctive reaction to protect themselves against the pain when the person isn't there later on.
so, these two behaviours really combine and match together one with another, which makes the perfect sense to what I am leading my ways.
哈 簡直就是自問自答的Dialog 總是如此無可救藥的一廂情願
補註. 似乎看過共產黨批判溫情主義是屬非理性的小資(小資產階級) 面對所謂的理性市場社會不成氣候 理性選擇才能成就個人與國家的最大利益
more or less, we are all children in an adult´s body.
附加. Muki is sometimes a little devil in a cat's body
and having an extremely cute face, therefore you can only let's him do whatever he wants.
Life is never fair from the standing basis, isn't it?
